Glancing through a catalog this morning prompted the feeling that I am very old and decrepit. I’ll admit that the “wim & wigger and witality” of youth has long since abandoned my frame, but the possibility that I am on the downhill slope of an exciting life hit me like a ton of bricks.
What grasped my attention from the goods advertised in the catalog was the cost of general, everyday, run-of-the-mill clothing. I’m sorry, but I cannot bring myself to pay $36.00 to $55.00 for an average shirt or $89.50 for a pair of trousers. And, “OH MY GOSH,” there was even a pair of flip-flops listed for $38.00.
Call me an old fogie if you must; but I vividly remember selling shirts for $1.89, trousers for $4.95 and shoes for $6.95 while working part-time in a department store as a teenager. It’s important to note that this was quality, brand name, merchandise and not seconds.
I can even remember buying suits for $35.00 after Susie Mae and I were married.
Thank goodness for the discount stores and warehouse clubs, without which I would be required to go downtown with those two nice Policemen, due to improper attire.
Another draw-back of catalog shopping is the fact that the small, medium, large sizes mean nothing when attempting to fit them on an out of shape, bulging body that is hovering on the far side of Medicare. The cost of returning the merchandise is sometimes more costlier that we can buy the same item for at UNCLE SAM”S BOTTOM DOLLAR.
It is obvious that I will continue to garner stares and snickers when I appear in public wearing an entire wardrobe that cost less than the flip-flops in the catalog. This is the least of my worries since, everyone is aware that a pleasing personality is far more important than good looks.
I rest my case.