Deputy sheriff Jess Baxter; walked into his boss, Fred Davis’ office to make his report on the day’s patrol from which he had just returned. Settling into an easy chair opposite the enormous desk occupied by the High Sheriff, he waited until he was asked, “Well, what happened during your tour of duty?”
Stretching his 6 foot 2 inch frame until he was almost lying in the chair; Jess began with, “I was cruising out on number 57, out near Long Pine, when I noticed fresh car tracks turning into the woods. This appeared to be something that would bear investigating so I followed the tracks and about 200 yards into the woods; I came upon a red Mustang with California license plates. The trunk lid was open and the trunk was about half full of what we call Green Vegetable Matter, when we have to testify in court at a drug trial.”
“This looked suspicious so I decided to wait awhile and see what was going on. I had only waited for around five minutes when a young man came thrashing through the undergrowth. His shirt was off and he was sweating profusely. He had his arms full of freshly cut Green Vegetable Matter. When he spotted me, he stopped in his tracks and started mumbling,˜Oh my gawd! Oh my gawd!” I said to him, “Boy, just what in the tar-nation are you doing on private property?”
His answer was ˜Jeeze, Officer, please, I ain’t never done nothing like this before, but I’ve heard that North Carolina has good WEED just growing wild and I thought I’d check it out. Please, officer, I didn’t mean to do it”.
After sizing him up real good, I said to him, “Son, tell you what: If you’ll get in that car and head back to California and don’t never show your face in North Carolina again, I’ll let you go.”
Hearing that, the sheriff almost swallowed the cigar that he had been puffing on and shouted, “Why the hell didn’t you arrest him; bring him in and book him?”
Jess grinned and said, “Well, sheriff; to my knowledge, there is no law in this state against a fellow filling the trunk of his car full of POISON OAK.”
An old Demijon saying: “Ignorance sometimes scratches the Itch.”