I suppose, I’ll never understand…

I SUPPOSE I’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND
There are many things about the American people and our language that leaves me completely baffled.
For instance; number – 1. “The craze over weight loss”.
Why in the world will a person order a double Cheeseburger, a large order of French Fries; a huge hunk of Pie, and a diet Pepsi?
Number – 2. “Protection for the second most expensive item; our Car.” We build additions onto our houses called garages and then stuff them full of discarded items while the vehicles sit exposed to the elements.
Number – 3. “A guarantee for both?” “We order a Pizza and receive a guarantee that if it is not delivered within a certain length of time there will be no charge.” “Why can’t we get the same guarantee for an Ambulance or a Policeman?”
Number- 4. “Why is the word politic used to describe the vote seeking process when the dictionary’s number 2 definition is crafty; unscrupulous?”
Number – 5. “If the past tense of Teacher is Taught:” “Why isn’t the past tense of Preacher – Praught?”
Number -6. “If you discard all of your Odds and Ends but one;” What do you call it: “An Odd or an End?”
Number -7. “Eggplant contains no Eggs, Hamburgers contain no Ham, nor does Pineapple contain any Pine or Apples.”
Number – 8. “Was the forerunner of the Horseless carriage; a Horsefull carriage?” What about a “Strapfull Gown?”
Number 9.Why does a house “Burn up,” and then is considered “Burned down?”
Number 10. “Ever wonder why we “park our Car,” on Driveways; But “drive our Car’s,” on Parkways?
Number 11. “Writers write:” But “Fingers don’t Fing:” “Hammers don’t Ham,” Nor do “Grocers Groce.”
Number 12. “You cannot make one amend.” “You cannot search through the annal of history.”
Number 13. “If the plural of tooth is teeth”, why not booth / beeth,” or moose / meese?”
Number 14. How can the weather be “Hot as hell,” one day and “Cold as hell,” the next?
Number 15. “Vegetarian’s eat Vegetables;” “Does a Humanitarian eat Humans?”
Number 16.You write a letter and, “Bite your tongue.” If you “Wrote a letter”, would you have Bote your tongue?
Number 17. As you can readily see, I am totally Flabbergasted; because when, “I wind up my Watch, I start it.” But when “I wind up this Article, I end it.”

Demijon