“HAVE YOU EVER ?”

NOTE: Three of the ‘Seven,’ of your closest friends, have been sworn to secrecy. However; You knew about this rigid test when you were nothing more than an “ASSISTANT, Magistrate’s Helper.”

It is a well-known fact; that two of the crowd that you “Run-‘With;” tried to talk you out of becoming a candidate for “PRESIDENT”. The rest were looking for easy jobs within the ‘CHIEF’S CABINET’: “IF.” By chance; you were elected.

Okay::: Here we go with the questionnaire!!!

“HAVE YOU EVER??? – Folded a road map; the correct way, on the first try?

Eaten breakfast in the dining room of a Hotel to the tune of $18.95; and then walked half a block past a restaurant offering breakfast for $2.99?

Been unable to look up the correct spelling of a word in a dictionary; simply because you do not know how to spell it?

Have You Ever? tried to cut a tough piece of steak on a paper plate? with a plastic knife?: On your lap?

Noticed that the last few minutes of a newscast is filled with drivel from the anchor and co-anchor making a weak attempt to be funny?

Used the excuse, I bought you a birthday card: But I misplaced it. When I finally found it, I was embarrassed to send it.

Spent hours shopping for the perfect wedding gift? carefully wrapped and mailed it? And never received a thank-you note?

Tried in vain to open a drawer with something sticking up and you cannot push it down until you open the darn thing?

Have You Ever? been told by a manager at a restaurant, that there will be a forty-five minute wait for a table when there are only two other folks in the building?

Noticed that everyone on the sidewalk stops to watch; when you try to parallel park?

Sent money to “Save the Cockroaches” Foundation,” and the next week received twenty seven requests from other charities?

Ever noticed that the one roll of film that gets lost is the one with twelve shots of you; sunbathing in the nude?

Pointed out to the waiter that your coffee cup has lipstick on it; and watched as he wiped it off on his apron and set in back on the table?

Had the faucet in the restaurant bathroom splash water on the front of your pants and noticed, that everyone turned to look at you as you came out?

Explained in detail about your operations, and all of your aches and pains; when your waitress asks: “I’m Trisha. I’ll be your server tonight”. “HOW ARE YOU?”

If your answer to any; or all, of the above “life’s little frustrations,” is in the affirmative: You are a completely, normal “Senior Citizen”; and you should ignore those who consider you, “Weird.”

EDITORS NOTE: “These Important Questions; have been cleared by the staff at “ASSISTANCE MAGISTRATES,” “Local # 427.”

Demijon; – https://demijon.us/