“THE GOOD DEED”

In the early Spring, each year;  The Farmers Market opens, to provide the fresh, Vegetable’s for the Customers, who have waited through the desolate months of Winter, for their taste of; “Natures Wonders”

On the first day, the Market is in business, prompts;  My Good Friend; Farmer “Billy-Bob;” with a story that he will relate to his children and grandchildren for years to come.

The Newspaper had just been delivered, when Billy-Bob came out his front door: with a big headline, announcing: “LOCAL FARMER SAVES LIFE; staring at him: “Big News.”

“I can almost hear it now:”   “Billy-Bob’s Grandchild; sitting on his lap, and asking for a repeat of this years opening day’s happening; like he usually gets from Gran-Pa.”  “It will go about like the following.”

We had just opened the gate when an old man staggered up to our Quibble; holding on to his walking stick with a death grip.”  “He grabbed a sack and began to fill it with the string beans, that we had just picked.”  “While we were weighing these;  The old man grabbed another sack and filled it with Squash.”  “He grinned at My Wife; who was filling-in for ‘Weigh-Master,” today and said:

“YOU JUST SAVED A LIFE !” 

“Mama was taken-back by his remarks, and asked the man what he meant.”  “The man seemed serious when he replied;” 

“If I had to have eaten, ‘Cheese-Crackers,’  ‘Cereal,’ and  ‘Toast,’ for another two weeks:” “You would have possibly read about my demise in your local newspaper.”

MY question now is:  “If  our esteemed leaders can find as many folks who do good in our Country?”  “Why; in Heavens Name, can’t they add the ones who save all the lives by “Working themselves to death,”  “Just to have fresh Vegetables available for us, every Spring?”  

“HUH?” , “Answer me;”  “All of you ‘TRUMP-A-LATERS.”  “We belong here, too.”

Demijon

 

   

A DIFFERENT WAY

We are really not as “Back Woodsy” as some seem to think. It’s just that we look at things in general with a different outlook. You must understand that folks in the South are not in a hurry to do anything.

We like to take time to, ‘Smell the roses as well as just observe them.’  When you see one of us deep in thought and appearing at a loss for what is happening around us, that’s what we are doing.

We are “Smelling” Before”, we tackle anything. Not only does this save energy, it also prevents having to do it over if we rush into it and get it wrong.

Why not? Since we do not have to rush to keep an appointment or to worry about the Stock Market averages, we have sufficient time to do it right to start with. This attitude is sometimes contagious.

I have a dear friend who has only been a ‘transplanted Yankee’ for a very short time, and he has already adopted a schedule of 5 / 5. He works for 5 minutes and takes a 5-hour break. Very simple, huh?

The fact that he was laid back, while still within the borders of the North; just may have contributed to his adapting so quickly. He learned to say “Y’ALL” instead of “YOU-ALL,” after only two weeks of lessons. The fact that he had an excellent teacher may have inspired him to adapt.

Another thing that may appear differently to unsuspecting citizens is our attitude toward putting first things first. If it is a choice between working and fishing; naturally the fishing will take precedence.

The work will wait but when the fish are biting:  Therefore, we have no other option. How can we; in good conscience, allow them to wait until we finish with our work? They are hungry and it is only humane to feed them.

It is also a misconception that we all are involved in the manufacture of Moonshine LIQUOR.. That; we leave to the professionals hidden deep in the hollows of the mountains. If by chance some of their product does find its way into our area, we are not adverse to the sampling of it; simply, to insure that the quality is in keeping with the usual accepted standards.

All things considered, we are much the same as our northern Brothers and Sisters with the exception of our desire to keep things simple. Avoiding the rush-rush, life is an obsession with most of us; and we will defend this attitude at whatever the cost.

We are perfectly content with our lifestyle, and the fact that we are experiencing an influx of citizens from our ‘border country;’  “THE NORTH!”  Will attest that it’s the only way to go.

We welcome all of you and sincerely hope that you will learn to love our part of this great country. One word of caution, however:  You must be the one to adapt; because we have no intention of changing things.

We just do things a “Little Differently.”

Demijon

“LOSING WEIGHT.”

Of late:  The ‘Newspapers,’ as well as the ‘Electronic Media,’ have both jumped on the ‘possible’ idea that:  If a person eats enough of a “Special Food:” “Concocted by the “Firm” or “Firm’s;  ‘(that are paying for the ‘paper);’  AND, the cost of the ‘film’ and ‘electricity’ to hype this particular food);”

Their claim’s are that: “All that ‘Weight and those Inches”, will just ‘absolutely FALL OFF.”   “By the pounds & inches within a day or so.”

“Believe me, friends; I have tried every diet that has been circulated; and my belt still, will not fasten over my GUT.”  “I had to use the ‘tried & true,’ exercise of “Pushing Back from the Table.”  “Up until I discovered the only sure way to lose weigh and inches is to: “SERVE YOUR COUNTRY!”

In May, 1950, I took the final step toward gaining a slim; but, powerful, body.  Ladies and Gentlemen; I joined the “Army’s Elite Forces:”“THE PARATROOPERS.”  “The first words , spoken to a Bus-Load of raw recruits by a Master Sergeant ‘with “Hash-Marks”, the length of his sleeve:  Was;  “WE”LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU: OR YOU’LL QUIT, OR DIE.”

“THUS: Began our first step into what the hated, “5 Mile Run’s;”  “50 Push-ups;”  “Hanging in parachute harness for hours.”  and “The Granddaddy” of all of them:  “THE, LEAPING FROM AN AIRCRAFT IN FLIGHT!”

“In 1950; I sported  a 6 foor-2 inch body, weighing “266 pounds” and wearing trousers that measured “40 inches,” in the waist.”

Fast Forward to May, 1952:  “Old Demijon was discharged from the Paratroopers; with a 6 foot 2 inch frame, weighing;”  “194 pounds with a “27” inch waistline.”  

Footnote:  “I DONE IT!”  “AND YOU CAN TOO;”  “The chow that you are eating may taste better;”  But the food has very little to do with this:” “The “EXERCISE!” is key that opens the, “BELLY-FAT SAFE:”  and creates a “NEW – YOU!”

Demijon

 

      

 

“Time For A Change!”

Has the Charmin been squeezed?    “D.J, wants to know?”

Important issues concern me;  perhaps more than the average person.  Things like what are we to do with all of the old stuff when a product is “New And Improved?”  Is it safe to continue using until our supply is depleted; or should we discard our hoard and rush to purchase the improved variety?

I suffer needlessly when a doctor prescribes a pain medication that his colleagues have, “Not preferred two to one”.  Does my doctor not watch television? If he does, he surely is aware that he prescribed the wrong medication for me.

“It takes five bottles of the ‘bargain brand’ to equal one bottle of ‘Pine-Stink’.” Law enforcement officials should converge on the ‘bargain brand’  laboratories and force them to cease production of a product that will jeopardize the health and safety of us unsuspecting citizens who try to save a few cents.

Our home has been treated for termites and other pests by the firm of “Brand X.” Since they do not employ the services of “ROBO-MAN;” from the twenty-fourth century with all of his hi-tech weapons, will our house eventually succumb to the infestation of pests and; ‘fall down around our ears?

My needs are fairly simple. My 1970 Pinto, does not have a; “42-liter engine:, A Computer generated ride;   Electrically controlled mud flaps:, Remote door locks; or;  A CD-ROM Sound System.”

It does, however, respond when I turn the key and it has so far managed to satisfy my whims to go and come as I please. Anxiety wells within me; because it lacks these latest innovations. So, what am I to do? To dispose of it would be like losing a dear friend.

Since “Corn-Fed Chicken, Inc.” has beat “Pullets & Co.” in a taste test by a margin of 21 to 6, am I at risk simply because I have been eating Pullets & Co. product for years?   Perhaps “Brittle-Mayers” will formulate an antidote for those of us who unwittingly consumed the inferior product.

Exactly how much is “A Unit Of Coverage?” I am aware that it only costs ‘$6.00,’ but if and when, it becomes necessary for me to avail myself of it, will the Funeral Director inform my heirs that the cost will be “Three and one half units?”

The other day I discovered that a used automobile dealer owns the bank. “One hundred and ninety five dollars and ride today!” “We own the bank!” After all these years of depositing my tiny paycheck in their establishment;  shouldn’t I at least qualify for a 1949 Nash Rambler?

Lawmakers are desperately trying to put an end to welfare. Are they concerned in the least about Modern World Flooring?   Apparently they are on the brink of entry onto the welfare rolls due to the fact that they have continuously sold their product for under cost, and then offer free installation with all the trimmings. “They can’t last much longer.”

“If you bought from anyone else, YOU PAID TOO MUCH!” This bothers me most of all. I unknowingly have bought from ‘Someone Else’ for years. Is it possible that if I had changed my pattern of purchasing, I would be a Rich Man, today?

One day soon I will attempt to count the ‘8,968 items that are priced below the competitors’  This has caused me many sleepless nights. Suppose that immediately after the ad is placed in the newspaper, the competitor lowers the price on 1,625 items. Would this be considered false advertising?

In my waning years, I should not be subject to such stress. I should be allowed to enjoy my “Golden Years;” free from the pressures of being required to worry about things such as: “Do “Scrubbing bubbles really scrub?” 

“Does the hair coloring only take five minutes?”

“Can I really lose 50 pounds by gliding on a machine?”

“Do the Psychic Friends know so much about me?”

  “Is the Hair Club president indeed a client?”

“Do the Lawyers that lose, get any payments from ‘Anybody?”

There are many other distressing things that disturb me. I hope that I am not the only one who suffers from this affliction. If there are more of you out there; perhaps we could arrange a convention for ‘WORRIERS.’  “You know, get together and compare notes and who knows, maybe we could form a support group.”   “Sound okay to You?”  

In the meantime, I will continue with my downtrodden approach to life in general, and I will worry.     Dj.

“Feel sorry for me yet???   “My number is BR S-M-1- S.”

Demijon

Fact:  “A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.”         Dj.

“THE VERY OLD. “

No one is sure exactly, why this happens; but happen it does. Once one reaches the age of fifty years or so, the brain begins to shut down. Gone are the days when you can recite from memory the first, middle and last names of all your acquaintances. You are lucky to remember your own.

I vaguely recall the time when it was not necessary to jot down everything that anyone said in order to remind myself that I did, in fact, hear it. Not only is this embarrassing, it can sometimes be downright humiliating.

For instance, when you are introduced to a person and five minutes later you are unable to remember their name. What usually happens is that you mutter some unintelligible words to disguise the fact that you don’t know who in the hell they are. And then, you wonder why they look at you so strangely.

To make matters worse, people who suffer from “CRS” will refuse to admit that it is they who are devoid of all sense of recollection. “If they would only speak up, then I would have no problem,” they are quick to say.

When this illness is combined with an acute loss of hearing, the result is, at best, catastrophic. Anyone who is unable to hear well and to remember even less is perhaps one of the most likely candidates for the dumb-ass” of the year award, certainly, they are not a contender for a listing in the “best personality” file.

I am not aware of any cure for this handicap. I suppose that the best we can hope for is for the younger set to carry pictures of themselves with their names printed on the back and dispense them to all sufferers of this dreaded disorder.

Then; all that would be necessary to remember the names would be to match the picture with the name. The only problem that I can see with this would be that we could not remember in which pocket we had placed the pictures.

Example: I received this message from a friend.

Bob was having dinner with a couple who had been married over 60 years. While the wife was preparing dinner, the husband kept asking her; ~~ “Sweetheart, Can I peel the potato’s for you?” ~~”Darling, can I set the table?” ~~ “Snookums, should I put the steaks on the grill?”

Bob finally said to the husband,  “That is amazing.”  “You two have been married for all this time, and you still use those ‘love-words.”

The husband replied; To tell the truth; I forgot her name over two years ago and I am afraid to ask her what it is.”

I have a request for all of you youngsters. Please extend a little sympathy for those of us who are afflicted. After all; “Your time is coming!”

Demijon

Old is when; ~~ Invited to go upstairs and make love, your reply is, “Pick one: I can’t do both!”

Posted in Uncategorized

“CONTROLLED HEALTHCARE”

The matter of health care is of much concern to most of us. We have reached the point that we cannot afford to become ill. While in our younger days, the doctoring of most illnesses was accomplished by large spoonfuls of Castor Oil. This mode is outdated and according to some, downright dangerous.

Today:  We must seek out a specialist for any and all misfortunes that befall us; and to make matters worse, they are not one and the same person.  We must visit an ‘Internist’ for a simple cold who, in turn, refers us to an ‘X-ray Technician;’ to be followed by a visit to a ‘Chest Specialist;’ that recommends a ‘Throat Specialist;’ who prescribes a few; (get this, now.); “Cough Drops:”  Followed by a “RETURN VISIT.”

To sum it all up, we have spent; ‘most of the week,’ and; ‘$565.88’ for a cure that would have cost a maximum of ‘$2.45;’ had we purchased the “Cough Drops” at “William’s Drug  Store to begin with.”  Also the ‘Return Visit’ would not have been necessary.

Granted, all illnesses are not this simple and most of the above is ‘greatly exaggerated, but somewhere along the way; things have gotten completely out of kilter.

We are all appreciative of the Medical Profession, and in most cases we believe that they do a fabulous job. I don’t think anyone would argue with the fact that a universal health insurance program should be available to everyone, for an affordable cost; but just what will be the end result of such protection?

Will the ‘reasonable and customary fees’ that are provided for under the insurance plan, simply cover the down payment to the ‘Specialist;’ and we will be responsible for an amount; ‘equal to their fees,’ that would have been charged if we were without the coverage?

And what of other features that are sure to be included in a national health care plan? Would we become just another ‘Claim Number’?  Would the extensive record keeping process involve areas of our lives that heretofore we have considered private?

Suppose; for instance, we are covered by a proposed plan and we receive a cut that requires sutures. When we enter the Doctor’s office and supply; ‘all of our numbers,’ to the receptionist; they; ‘Google a Computer Search,’ and discover that we have not ‘read; understood; and followed’; all the safety precautions that were provided with our new power saw.

What then? Would we be refused treatment or else be required to pay cash up-front before treatment?  Suppose that we had received a Traffic Citation a mere six months before this accident happened. “Would this affect the approval of our claim”?

Although this rambling is a little far-fetched, it could possibly become a reality if a government agency is placed in charge of every aspect of our existence. It could be that our entire lives would cease to be our own; and we would be required to seek approval from this agency before making any decision.

Laws could easily be passed that would make it illegal to seek medical help until a Senate sub-committee could meet and approve the treatment. Could this be a possible way of controlling population growth?

If governments are given too much power, then it’s just a matter of time before we become yet another Statistic in the volumes of records that comprise the ‘Central Control’ of every living individual.

If such a proposed plan ever becomes law, then the identification card that we will all be issued could be our most valued possession. Just imagine walking on a dark street some evening and a sinister figure jumps out from behind a bush:  Points a gun at you and demands; “Give me your health care card!”

Are we ready for this?

Demijon

“You’re old when; ~~ Most Everything hurts: And if it doesn’t hurt: “It wont work.”

Posted in Uncategorized

“EARLY TELEVISION” !!!

How many readers can remember sitting before a 12 inch television and staring at a black and white Test Pattern until 5 o’clock when the local station would begin broadcasting “The Briarhoppers” show?

This local band featured a fiddle player by the name of Arthur Smith who later turned to another stringed instrument, wrote and recorded a million dollar recording of Guitar Boogie.  After 30 minutes of playing breakdowns and singing about “The Little Girl who left me and I’ll try to get her back somehow,” this program was usually followed by a syndicated episode of The Lone Ranger, Lassie, Leave It To Beaver, or another “sit-com,” and then The Six O’clock News.  Most of the advertising for these programs was sold to local merchants and broadcast by the staff announcers at the station.

The rest of the evenings programing was sponsored by feeds from the affiliated networks.  Who could forget laughing at the antics of Red Skeleton, Jackie Gleason and Lucille Ball.  Of course, there were other programs that filled the time slots until the Late News with Chet Huntley and David Brinkley.

Following the news was The Atlantic Weatherman that signaled the end of the programming for the day. The Test Pattern again was displayed until the station signed off for the day at midnight, with a black and white American Flag superimposed over the sounds of The National Anthem.

Most local stations only began their programming in late afternoons with the black and white Test Pattern.

There are times when I am surfing through 80 or 90 channels on my 32 inch, High Definition & Digital Television, that I vividly recall the first color television that I ever personally witnessed.  My wife and I, along with two small children, toured a mock television studio, in living color’, at the New York Worlds Fair.

I also recall the first television that was in our home; was a rental, 16 inch black and white rental, set for which we paid $5.00 each month until we could cajole Sears into selling us a similar set for a dollar down and a dollar per month.

Incidentally;  We have not seen a test pattern in years and it is doubtful that our children can remember ever seeing one.  I suppose that this proves that time changes for the better.

Demijon

ME; Interrupting Chet & David;  “If they think I’ll pay $.50 cents for a haircut:  They can just forget it!!!     Dj.

“Are You Sure?”

Nothing annoys me more than to relate something of which I have carefully researched and determined to be accurate, and then have the recipient ask, “Are You Sure?

If there was doubt, the research and determination was available to them as well.  Why question the statement without prior knowledge of the subject?  Does this give them a feeling of superiority?

Most of us do not address an issue without some awareness of the accuracy of our assertion.  Yet, there are the ones who insist on challenge as a way of injecting their own thoughts into whatever is being discussed.

Perhaps insecurity could possibly describe these individuals.  By asserting doubt in the accuracy, they conceal the fact that they are dubious as to their own understanding.

This is a technique, when employed appropriately, will tend to avert attention to their inabilities while at the same time sow seeds of doubt in our recounting of the issue.        Another tactic employed by these people is the reciting of  “I know a fellow who.”

This particular person can do anything better, can purchase cheaper, and is more knowledgeable, on any and all subjects.

In most instances, however, his name is never mentioned.  At times we wonder if he is indeed real or is he a fabrication supplied to prove a point.  Skepticism of this person’s proficiency only enhances the misconception that we are unenlightened if we suspect any misrepresentation.

I suppose that the only way to suppress these individuals is in allowing them the freedom to voice their own condescending opinion on all subjects, and then to continue with our own concepts of the way things should or should not be.

By implementing these methods, they are convinced that they have influenced us sufficiently to guarantee that the next time a problem arises, we will search them out for advice.

“The first pair of shoes fit perfectly on my feet.”   

“Are you sure?  I have a friend who….”

Demijon

My brother called, and asked how to look up my Blog.  I told him to use the cursor, then “right click.” on the desk top.  He said…, “I cursed it and wrote “click” but nothing happened.”

“End of an Era.”

Throughout those ‘l-o-n-g  /  l-o-n-g,”  years that my  Lovely Roommate, and I spent in the  workplace; our dreams were to retire to a life of leisure; to do very few things that we never had the time to do; while earning our daily bread.  To travel, paint, write, craft unique gifts for friends, read and generally do as we darned well pleased.

The time for retirement came, as expected, in 1991.  It was then when we realized that our income would be less than we were accustomed to; therefore, the first thing that crossed our minds was the fact that it would be necessary for us to seek part-time employment in order to live as we had become accustomed.

Giving absolutely no thoughts to adjusting our spending habits, we actively sought and secured gainful employment only on a part-time basis.  As with many of the plans of mice and men, this part-time work quickly became full-time, and then some.  She chose a second career as a reservation clerk for a Rental Management Firm, and I became a vendor in the profession of a “Handyman.”

Here we were; still beating the bushes, simply because this is what we had always known.  Any travel had to be coincided with our schedules.  Writing must be done between the hours of 05:30 A.M. and the time the office opened for the day’s business.  Crafting was accomplished in the wee hours of the evening and any reading was done in bed.  Painting was limited to the off season or when inclement weather prohibited any handyman work.

Additional duties in and around the home must be squeezed in when time permitted.  Usually, the lawn was mowed only after the neighbors complained about snakes.  Dusting, vacuuming, etc. was accomplished in a ‘posthaste,’ when we were expecting company.

This was not at all what we had planned.  We were busier than ever, with less income and our dreams still unfulfilled.  After much discussion, we arrived at what was probably the most momentous decision of our lives.  The time had come for adjustments to be made.

Agreements were made between the two of us, to the effect that our spending would have to be reduced to the items necessary to maintain a reasonable standard of living.  I suppose the hardest decision to make for my wife was to agree to give up the purchasing of “Pretty Unka-Tunkas” and her mania for Catalog merchandise.

**************************************

Since these adjustments have been made recently, I cannot predict how we will ultimately be affected:  However, we were determined to give it our best shot.

As the years have passed; expenditures for medication have replaced our need for more worldly goods.  In essence, this is as it should be, since our frail bodies are prone to discourage our desire for working to earn more monies.  Who knows, perhaps we will one day grow tired of worrying about our financial status; and do our best to try to be content by doing nothing but sitting and watching “The Tractor Rust.”  Until then; we hereby give notice that…”WE HAVE NEVER LIKED WORK AND THIS AIN’T CHANGED!”

Demijon

Life is like a roll of toilet paper.  The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.   Dj.

 

 

“HOW OLD ARE YOU”?

Have you ever…?

Emptied the drip pan under the Ice Box?

Made a Slingshot?

Bought ten pieces of candy for a Nickel?

Shucked corn to feed a Mule / Horse?

Built a fire around the Wash Pot?

Ridden both a Stalk Cutter and a Hay Rake?

Made Whistles from Reeds?

Patched an Inner Tube and put a Re-liner in the Tires?

Filled the Kerosene Lamps every Saturday?

Worn 16-inch Boots with a pocket on the side for a Jack knife?

Listened to Lum & Abner on a battery-powered Radio?

Used a cardboard, hand-held Fan, during Revival Services?

Paid .09 cents admission to watch a double-feature at The Show?

Bought 4 gallons of Gasoline for .72 cents?

Owned a “Bugler” Cigarette Rolling Machine?

“Toted-in” enough Stove Wood to fill the bin every night?

Used Ration Stamps to buy Sugar, Meat or Tires?

Do you remember the W.P.A. (Works Progress Administration)?

If you have done, or remember, any of the above; you are, ‘like me’, astounded that those of us who qualify as Senior Citizens can sit in a comfortable easy-chair in front of a Computer and share our memories with the world by only touching a few buttons?

To those who wish for a return to “The Good Old Days,” we would advise that they should take a long, hard look at their lifestyles before making such a wish. Perhaps they think that us Old Folks had it easy with .18 cent Gasoline and 2-for-a-penny candy; however, most of us Seniors will assure them that the .18 cents was harder to get than the $3.00 today. We are well-informed on the subject, simply because we have “Been There And Done That!”

Demijon

Have you ever wondered: – Why other people age more quickly?