BEEN THERE: DONE THAT; AND FORGOT IT ALL.
I sit in my recliner and dream of places to go and things to do. With a road map at the ready and countless brochures scattered around, I plan mini-vacations to exotic locales only to be reminded by my child bride of better than sixty years that we have visited these sites in past years.
Discussions (sometimes heated) arise over the when and where of these trips, and I am informed that I suffer from an acute case of C.R.S. Since my wife possesses a mind like a steel trap, she does her best to convince me that the place in question was where she discovered those rare earrings and the favorite tee shirt. “Besides,” she states, “who wants to wander around and look at Rusted Farm Equipment? If you are determined to go somewhere, we could shop the new mall.”
Rejection of my elaborate plans to attend the Bluegrass Festival is accompanied by, “You’ve seen one. Isn’t that enough?” Or “I can’t stand that whiny singing. Why don’t we invite Jean and Dave to go with us to the Shoe Outlet? I am sure that they have many new styles to choose from since we were there.”
Despondent, I return to the maps and brochures hoping against hope that “Pedro’s Alligator Farm” will spark enough interest for at least a “Maybe.” My conniving brain begins to work overtime and I arrive at the conclusion that the only solution to this major dilemma would be to find a unique attraction that also includes a series of outlet shops on or near the premises.
Ahh: At last, the perfect place. “Junior’s Used Auto Parts and Hardware Emporium,” located next door to “Faye’s Tee Shirt and Jewelry Bazaar.” Here is reason enough for anticipation to replace the ultimate dismissal of an idea as so much folly. This is serious business. Having never shopped at Faye’s, she even becomes excited. “I’ll call Jean to find out which day would be convenient with her,” she says.
Not even the usual, “You’ve been there, done that and forgot,” sallied forth as she began to make lists of the things that she absolutely could not live without. Perhaps
the closest she would come to admitting that the idea had merit was the remark that; “Maybe you can find a starter for your truck and we will not have to push it. Now, drive over and get Jean while I figure out which credit card is not maxed out.”