Interview.
Today’s ace roving reporter is Hardy D. Harhar.
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Question: Have you always been as charming and debonair as you are today?
Answer: No: I was once just like you; unattractive, obnoxious and pathetic. Then I discovered the secret of “Septic System’s” creams and lotions. Usage of these remarkable products have done wonders for my looks as well as my demeanor.
Question: What was your youth like?
Answer: I was an average child. My parents frequently hid me, and borrowed one of a neighbors kids to carry with them to Sunday School. There were times when my father would tie an ear of corn around my neck so the hogs would play with me.
Question: When did you decide to become a sophisticated patron of the arts and a world class writer?
Answer: I suppose it was when I was sixteen and in the third grade. I would spend hours studying the graphic drawings and writings on the walls of the boy’s, (and sometimes the girl’s), bathrooms. Are you aware that they write on the walls, just like we did?
Question: What are your long range goals in life?
Answer: To attend The Nascar race at Talladega; The hollering contest at Spivey’s Corner; To watch Bubba wrestle an alligator; To see Silver Springs through glass bottomed boats; and, To view seven States from Rock City, Tennessee. Also, accepting a Pulitzer Prize for literature would be nice.
Question: It has been said that your fame has swelled your head. Is this true?
Answer: Definitely not true. I still wear the same CAT DIESEL cap that I wore when I observed the writings on the walls of the girl’s bathroom. I will admit that fame and fortune has had an adverse reaction on the belly; but that’s another story.
Question: What advice would you give to your many fans who wish to emulate you?
Answer: Apply Septic System’s lotion on a daily basis to keep your skin as smooth as a baby’s behind; Remove the ear of corn from around your neck before entering your Sunday School room; Never belch in the presence of the fairer sex; Don’t hiccup while chewing your Levi Garrett tobacco; and decline an interview with this IDIOT.
Question: If you could live your life over; what changes would you make?
Answer: I would sneak into the girl’s bathroom FIRST.
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You have just witnessed an interview with famous writer and renowned citizen, Demijon. He has recently acquired notoriety as the author of several best-selling books. He is living proof that a celebrity can be “JUST ONE OF WE BOYS!”
This interview was sponsored by Septic-Systems beauty products. For more information, call 361-SEP-TANK. Call Now!
Amazing; isn’t it?
Breaking news: This just in; Georg (Z.) Bush announced that he will throw his hat into the ring for President in the year 2024. He feels confident that he will defeat incumbent President, Chelsey Clinton.
