GEE & HAW

Have you ever wondered just how one trains a mule to respond to directions?

Training or Breaking a mule is done in the following sequents.  A bridle is a harness that fits over the mule’s head with an iron Bit placed in the mouth.  The bit has rings on either side to which leather or rope plow lines are attached. The lines are run through rings attached to the hames that are fitted onto the collar around the mules neck.  The lines then go to the handles on either side of the plow

Trace chains are hooked to the hames and travel through hooks on the backband in the center of the animals back and on to the singletree that is attached to the front of the plow.

To guide the mule in the proper direction, the farmer or trainer pulls on the right line and yells GEE! After repeated moves such as this, the mule begins to realize that GEE means move to the right. To move to the left, the left line is pulled and the yell is HAW.

After repeated tugs on either line at the same time GEE or HAW is yelled, the mule eventually learns to move either left or right on command. Depending on the particular animal, this training could take only a matter of hours or even days and weeks.  In isolated instances, this training could amount to naught since there were a few animals that were so danged  mule headed that they never learned.

I remember a neighbor once purchased a young mule that had never been broken.  He worked for weeks to train the mule to plow without success.  He finally asked my father to help him to break the animal.

Together, they hitched the mule to a jog-stock in an open field.  Regardless of their attempts, the training was fruitless until my father walked over to a nearby woods and cut a small sapling tree about eight feet long.

With the neighbor holding onto the plow and lines, he got the mule walking in a straight line.  When he yelled GEE, my dad hit the mule behind the ear with all of his strength.  The same thing occurred when HAW was yelled.

It took several licks with the sapling before the mule would literally JUMP to the right or left, with only a mere whisper of gee or haw.

Mules, like some humans, learn fast while others take a while longer; but eventually all do learn.

Demijon

Anyone questioning these methods will prompt the response; “Y’all aint from around here; are y’all? Dj

One of the topics that the media seems to thrive on at each beginning of a school year, is the adopted dress codes for students in the public schools and how they are being ignored by students.

It’s really amazing to me that today’s youth believes they are due the right to do as they please. It certainly makes one wonder if this attitude is not responsible, in part, for all the terrible violence in the schools.

In my day; (Yes; I walked 12 miles, barefoot, and without a coat, in 18 inches of snow, while carrying 24 pounds of books).  “You have heard this many times; I am sure.”   Dj

In the olden days, no student would have thought of entering a schoolroom unless they were decently attired. On the other hand, school boards, back then, were careful to tolerate enough leeway in dress codes to prevent undue stress on the fragile budgets of families enduring the ravages of the great depression.

School clothes were purchased at the beginning of the school year and were expected to last for the duration of that school year. Children were directed to; “take off your school clothes as soon as you get home.”

After all, the responsibility of sending children to school properly dressed, then and even now, ultimately rests on the shoulders of the parents.

Although I am certainly not a prude, I was quite shocked at some of the attire worn by school children in these reports. Photos of baggy pants with the crotch reaching almost to the knees and three inches of polka dot boxer shorts showing above the belt line were predominate. To add insult to injury, many wore oversized tee shirts flapping in the breeze and caps backwards on their heads in class.

Young ladies clothing was no more modest with mini-skirts, skin tight tank tops, short shorts and bare midriff’s galore. Their constant attempts to pull the skirts and shorts down suggested they were indeed uncomfortable; but I suppose they endured this because they were making a statement. Never would I have appeared anywhere away from home in such a garb.

I personally do not believe the dress codes are unreasonable. A modest dress or blouse and skirt for the girls, and slacks and shirt for the boys, is in no way intimidating for School children and would not place unnecessary pressure on the family budget.

Teaching children to observe the rules before they leave home could very well prevent much of the horrendous violence resulting in innocent children being slaughtered.

Demijon

You know the drill:  “Mind me; or I’ll frail the daylights out of you.”  Dj

We’ve all seen them on our television screens. Innovative products that will take ALL of the labor out of our complicated lives.  RIGHT?

“Have your credit card handy and call now;” the announcer says. Then, he continues. “If you call within the next 10 minutes, we will add another one. That’s 2 for the same low price of $10.00, plus S & H;  Remember: This product is NOT SOLD IN STORES.”

Recently, I spied one of these ingenious tools that I figured I could not live without.  I immediately asked my lovely roommate to have her credit card ready and CALL NOW.

Being the obedient soul that she is, she rummaged through all the Kleenex, keys, gum wrappers, lipstick tubes, and the other necessary items in her bulging purse until she found her credit card.  Reaching for the telephone, she dialed the 1-800 number and pressed all the designated numbers on the keypad until she reached a human voice.

Without a doubt, the person that she had reached was in Malaysia, India or other foreign country, with an accent that was barely understandable.   She explained that it was her wish to order only the $10.00, plus S&H, item that would include another one at no charge.  It took quite a while, but she thought she had explained in detail that she was requesting the one $10.00 (plus S&H) item plus the free one.

As requested, she gave the person our e-mail address for the purpose of sending an invoice with total charges and the pertinent shipping dates.  The invoice was received via e-mail within minutes, BUT, it stated that two orders had been placed; one for 4 items, $60.00 – plus, and the other for 2 items, $30.00 – plus S&H charges for each.

Efforts to cancel the entire orders amounted to naught since they would not accept any e-mail in order to cancel, and no one could be reached via telephone.

The first bundle of  items arrived at our home several days later and delivery was immediately refused.  The second bundle came a couple of days later and delivery was also refused for this one.  My wife  contacted our credit card company and disputed the charges for both.

She was finally able to talk to someone (where ever they are), and informed them of our refusal of both items and that we were disputing the charges to our credit card.  They implied that they would issue credit upon receiving the returned merchandise.

In the final analysis, we lost some $22.00 for return postage since this was not guaranteed by the sender.

FOOTNOTE! Browsing through one of the larger malls later revealed that the identical items are offered for sale for only $9.95, (with NO S&H.).

We live:  We learn:  And there are times when we are taken advantage of.

Demijon

Apparently; our bread simply ain’t done.

Is it possible that our Government would have permitted the $4,500.00 allowance if I had traded my Clunker for a vehicle like the one pictured at left?

Would there be any restrictions as to the miles per bale of hay? Would the one horsepower qualify under the specifications set by our esteemed lawmakers?

I can well imagine that very few of the members of the Congress have ever seen such a jewel as this Courting Buggy.

Not only have I seen one, I have ridden in a similar vehicle powered by a horse or mule. Of course, the one that I speak of had not been restored into the mint condition of the pictured Cream-Puff.

I still have somewhat vague memories of sitting in the trunk of the buggy and riding with my father and mother to my grandparents home.

I was a child when the Country was recovering from The Great Depression of the 1920 & 30′s and our family was indeed fortunate to be able to even utilize this method of transportation rather than being required to walk everywhere.

We did have a horse-drawn wagon that was used on the farm for hauling purposes; but it was nowhere near as comfortable as the padded seats of the buggy.

When I had reached the age of my late teens, the economy had improved to the point that the Buggy was considered an antique and automobiles had become affordable for most families.

The motorized transportation was especially necessary for a teenager of courting age.  It was hardly possible to impress a young lady with no more than our duck-tailed haircuts and our pegged trousers.  We needed WHEELS!

Nevertheless, every time I see a photograph of a restored buggy, I get a shot of nostalgia and I remember sitting in the space just behind the seat as we slowly made our way to Grandma’s.

Demijon

For those of us who are two years older than dirt, memories are about all we can rely on to keep our sanity.  Dj

HADACOL: – Marketed as a vitamin supplement; It’s principal ingredient was 12 percent Alcohol, (described on the label as a preservative). This ‘patent medicine’ was concocted by Louisiana State senator Dudley LeBlanc in the 1940′s.

LeBlanc was not a doctor, nor did he have any pharmaceutical training. His stock in trade was primarily his talent for Self Promotion.

The idea came from an elixir given him by his doctor for a foot injury. He duplicated the concoction with a few changes, most of which was the addition of some 12 percent alcohol.

The recommended dosage on the bottles was one tablespoon 4 times a day and was recommended to relieve or cure almost any illness.  It was not long before many people increased the dosage to what amounted to a daily “Hadacol high.”

At the time, an 8 ounce bottle was sold for $1.25 each and a ‘family size’, 24 ounce bottle cost $3.50. Adjusted for inflation, the cost would be in the neighborhood of $40.-$50.00 per bottle in today’s market.

In a 15 month period that ended in 1951, LeBlanc had sold more than $3,600,000 dollars worth of the tonic. He sold his interest shortly afterward to other investors for better than $8,000,000. Quite a tidy sum for a product containing mostly alcohol; wouldn’t you say?

After the sale it was revealed that the company was heavily in debt and the Federal Trade Commission ruled that the claimed benefits of the product were false.  The bad publicity eventually caused LeBlanc to lose a Gubernatorial bid.

Nevertheless, Hadacol spawned many songs and skits about the name and usage. For instance; “Why did you name the product HADACOL?” the answer was always, “Hadda call it somethin.”  Among the songs and tunes of the time were “Hadacol Boogie,”  “Hadacol Bounce,”  and “Everybody loves that Hadacol;” all written and performed by various artists.

In 1976, an attempt to revive the product under the Hadacol name failed. However any bottles or advertisements, etc. are sought after by antique collectors today.

If  I had never thrown away all of those empty bottles, I could have been a rich man today instead of a poor, doddering, senile  “Senior Citizen.”

Demijon

Since I no longer use Hadacol, I still retain my flabby thighs but my belly covers them.  Dj

Much To-Do about health care reform lately, is touted via the airways as well as the printed media.   It seems that the only answer our lawmakers can come up with, is to spend billions of dollars as a quick-fix.

My friends, as I see it, the simple solution is to return to the days of the Radio advertised products of the 1920′s and 1930′s.

If the Congress would consider these options, it would only mean revival of a few of the well-known products, back then; such as “Crazy Water Crystals,”  “Pe-ru-na,”   “Zymole Trokeys,”   “Kolor hyphen Bac,” and the like.  These products allowed many local bands to broadcast their talents via the Radio airways and possibly launched lucrative careers for quite a few.  You know:  “Keep those cards and letters coming in!”

For instance;  one product,  Crazy Water Crystals, was marketed then as one of the miracle cures of the era.

While not specifically guaranteeing a cure, it suggested the relief of urticaria, cirrhosis of the liver, chronic metritis, parametritic exudations; diabetes mellitus, gravel and calculous concretion in the bladder and gall duct, fevers, toxic conditions, typhoid, influenza, anaphylaxis, nephritis, pyelitis, catarrhal jaundice, cholecystitis, Bright’s disease, kidney trouble, obesity, irregularities of the liver, gall duct and bladder, rheumatism, arthritis, neuritis, high blood pressure, acidosis, lumbago, gout, poisonous system, affected vision, colds, scarlet fever, aching joints, and numbness of limbs.

I am not certain if the product is still marketed today; but if it will indeed do all of the above, it is well worth looking into. Imagine how much money could be saved with only the purchase of a $1.00 bottle of this amazing tonic.

Although investigation by the Federal Trade Commission found that the products possessed no therapeutic value in excess of those of a cathartic or laxative, plus a tendency to temporarily neutralize excess gastric acidity; quite possibly as a result of being “just a tad TIPSY.”

The respondents were ordered to cease and desist from representing that their products were a cure or remedy for certain diseases, or symptoms of disease…

However, the printed media and direct mailings, as well as the airways are inundated today with advertisement’s for products that will perform as well, if not better than the old Crazy Water Crystals.

I remember an old  friend stating that his Grandmother, a life-long Tee – Totaler, was an ardent consumer of similar products whose contents were some 40% – 50% alcohol.

It is entirely possible after the consumption of these so-called remedies, that the symptoms of the ailments were still present; but the users simply didn’t give a damn.

Demijon

Beware:   One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, “FLOOR!”

He was born Ortho Mathias Pegram, the oldest son of Mattie and Jeb Pegram. At an early age, he was saddled with the nickname “Ott,” due in part to the fact that his siblings could not pronounce Ortho.

He grew up in the wilds of South Carolina during the Great Depression. It seemed that he was constantly in trouble with the long arm of the law.

It was not unusual for the Bennett County Sheriff to drive his 1934 Ford coupe down the winding wagon road that led to the Pegram household and to report that Ott was in jail again, facing some infraction or another.

Jeb would then drive his one-horse wagon to the Courthouse and arrange for bail for the tall, skinny youngster. Many times, the cost of Ott’s fine would deplete the much needed reserve funds from Jeb’s social security check. Each time, as they bounced on the wooden wagon seat for the ride home over the deeply rutted trail, Jeb would assure Ott that if another incident happened, he could “rot in jail.”

In the early fall of 1938, a traveling evangelist set up his tent in the vacant lot adjacent to the courthouse and began holding nightly revival meetings. As a general rule, the benches inside the tent were filled with worshipers.

The heat of the long summer days had not yet dissipated and the sides of the tent were rolled up to allow for any breezes to compete with the cardboard fans that were supplied by the evangelist. The rolled up sides also permitted the sounds of the service to waft for perhaps a mile over the humid night air.

On the last night of the service, Ott was staggering toward home from an evening at the “Short-Snort Café and Pool Hall.” When he was passing the tent, he was suddenly obsessed with a need to venture nearer to the sounds of hymn singing.

He stumbled down the isle to the makeshift alter and there gave his heart to the Lord. Thus, began the preaching career of Ortho Mathias Pegram who in later years became well known as “Uncle Ott.”

Approximately 40 years later, Uncle Ott was conducting a revival meeting in a small church in Southeastern Georgia. It was customary for the visiting preacher to stand at the entrance of the church along with the Pastor to receive greetings and accolades from the worshipers.

On one particular evening, an elderly woman shook hands with Uncle Ott and remarked, “You look exactly like my nephew.”

“Is he tall, dark and handsome,” grinned Uncle Ott?

“No;” replied the lady, “He looks just like you.”

A couple of years later, Uncle Ott again accepted an offer to preach for a revival meeting at the Brush Arbor Free Will Baptist Church, located in rural North Carolina.

The meetings began with a Sunday morning service followed by ‘dinner on the grounds’ and then an evening service. Morning and evening services were held throughout the week and Uncle Ott as well as the Pastor were pleased that so many people from the community had responded to the alter call.

At the end of the weeklong services Uncle Ott had worked himself into an emotional frenzy and had delivered an exceptional sermon. Before closing with a lengthy prayer that was more or less his stock in trade, he asked that anyone who wished to go to Heaven to please stand.

Everyone in the congregation immediately stood with the exception of Lester Barfield who continued to sit in his usual corner of the back row.

The fact that Lester was the only one still sitting greatly disturbed the Pastor. He rose from the chair behind the pulpit and with Bible in hand; he walked down the center isle of the Church. He stopped when he reached the back pew and opened his Bible before accosting the person whom he considered to be a staunch member of his flock; and yet had the audacity to still sit after such an inspired service. The silence was deafening when he asked Lester,  “Brother Barfield, do you not want to go to Heaven when you die?”

With all seriousness, Lester replied, “Yes sir, preacher, I shore do want to go up there when I die, but if it’s all the same to y’all and if that other preacher is getting up a load tonight, I believe I’d rather go to Kannapolis.”

Demijon

Is it possible to be totally PARTIAL?

This collection of oddities is disseminated primarily for those of you who wish to be the life of any party.

Imagine the awe and admiration from your friends when you expound on these truths in their presence.

It is a possibility that you will be pursued by businesses and organizations the world over for your incredible knowledge of rare facts. A career as a keynote speaker is entirely feasible.

Memorize these tid-bits and you too, can display knowledge in areas that most people would not dare venture. Send four easy payments of $269.00, plus S&H, for our complete course and become rich and famous.

The following is only a sample of the vast material available through this once in a lifetime opportunity. Order yours today!

************************

It takes up to four hours to hard-boil an ostrich egg.

An adult giraffe’s tongue is 17 inches long.

Potato chips consumed by Americans each year weigh six times as much as the Titanic.

It’s illegal to own a red car in Shanghai, China.

Flamingos can only eat with their heads upside down.

It was considered a sin to eat woodpeckers in ancient Rome.

7% of Americans claim to have a radio in their bathroom.

20% of French women say being asked to undress during a job interview isn’t considered sexual harassment.

Earthworms like to eat ice cream.

The worlds first female telephone operator was named Emma M. Nutt.

Humans and pigs are the only animals that will sunburn.

The girlfriend of comic hero, Mighty Mouse, was named Pearl Pureheart.

57% of Americans say “they look younger than they are.”

Fingernails grow 1/25 of an inch per week.

King Louis XIV bathed only three times in his entire lifetime.

When licking an average stamp, you ingest 1/10th of a calorie.

A mans vision gets worse if his necktie is too tight.

Napoleon lost the war at Waterloo because he suffered from hemorrhoids.

“One” appears 16 times on a dollar bill.

Once you memorize all of these little known oddities, you just might be danged near as smart as I am; but there is doubt that you will become as charming..

Demijon

A MIME was once arrested and tried in Court. The judge dropped the charges because the arresting Officer did not tell him that he had a right to remain silent. DJ

“It’s true;  It’s true !!!..”

Married fifty-six years ago,
Before the fire they sat.
She took his hand and gently said,
“We’ve had a good life, that.”

“Remember how, the day we met,
The sky was, oh, so blue?”
“No, my dear, I really don’t,
For all I saw was you.”

“Remember our first date, my love?
I wore a brand new hat,
The wind came up and blew it off,
Don’t you remember that?”

“I’m sure your hat was lovely dear,
With flowers of every hue,
But I wasn’t thinking of your hat,
For all I saw was you.”

“What about our wedding day?
All our friends were there,
We wore the clothes we’d dreamed about,
We made a handsome pair!”

“But of course, you know, my dear,
I really don’t recall my suit,
I knew a lot was going on,
But all I saw was you.”

She snuggled closer to his side,
On his shoulder laid her head,
He gently kissed her wrinkled cheek,
And quietly then he said,

“We’re together almost sixty years,
A couple loving, true
And every day I thank the Lord,
That all I saw was you.”

Author unknown.

Demijon

I wish I could take credit for the origin of this poem; but of course, you know my elevator doesn’t always go to the top floor.  Dj

I’m reasonably certain that very few readers have ever seen the two items pictured, to say nothing about knowing their usage.

In the days before permanent press, cleaning clothing was much more than tossing into an automatic washer and an automatic dryer.

The chore was accomplished by boiling the laundry in an outdoor wash pot over a fire of whatever wood was available. Hours of scrubbing on a corrugated washboard, rinsing and hanging on an outdoor clothesline was the next order of business.

When dry, they were carried into the kitchen / dinning room, sprinkled and folded to retain the moisture. Sprinkling was done with a bottle of water that had a perforated cap.  Some items also required starching before ironing.

A fire was then kindled in the wood-burning stove or in the fireplace and flatirons were heated. During the heat of summer, this chore became almost unbearable but necessary.

As depicted in the photo, some folks utilized an iron that could burn coal, charcoal or even corncobs to prevent heating the entire room.

If a family was lucky enough to own a ironing board, the damp items such as sheets, dresses, shirts and blouses were spread on the board or even a table and the wrinkles were smoothed with the irons.

Note:  Before the work of ironing begins, the irons were tested for the correct temperature by moistening a finger and touching the surface. If a distinct sizzling sound was heard, the iron was hot enough for the work to continue.  Most families had several of these items heating at the same time and exchanged cool ones when necessary.

If the soiled laundry had accumulated for a lengthy period, the better portion of two days could be required to complete the two tasks.

Bear in mind that these chores were in addition to cooking three meals each day, cleaning the house and even helping in the fields if required.

I suppose these duties were responsible for the origin of the adage; “Man may work from Sun to Sun, but Woman’s work is never done.”

Hopefully, after reading this account of the drudgery of washday in the olden days, you will be lead to better appreciate the gleaming automatic washer and dryer that graces your utility room.

Demijon

Perhaps science will one day develop clothing that is “self- cleaning.”   Dj