When the Axe Handle Factory shut down and Bubba was laid off, he began figuring out how to keep from starving. He finally came up with the idea of picking up the Pecans that had fallen from the big tree in front of his trailer, and peddling them in the Ritzy part of town.
He and his cousin Bobby Jule, picked up about three bushels of the nuts, loaded them in his truck and drove to the rich section of Toadville, appropriately called, “High Cotton.”
The first house they selected was the residence of Mr. & Mrs. Hoye Paloy, who had recently bought the place from Mr. I. R. Gready, and had moved their family from somewhere in up-state Neu Yawk. It was here that Bobby Jule raised the question about ‘Yankee money being counterfeit.’ Bubba merely replied; “In that case, they’ll get ‘em at cost.”
They filled a one-pound Lard tin with the nuts, and Bubba approached the house and rang the doorbell. Mrs. Paloy, whom he had seen occasionally through the window of the “High & Mighty Hair Salon & Hot Dog Stand” greeted him., She was dressed in what looked to Bubba like her night-gown, and “Gucci” high heels, She also wore enough ‘Pan-Cake make-up,’ smeared all over her face to stock a paint store.
She was wearing just about every jewelry bauble sold on channel 12, (‘not sold in stores’). This appeared rather strange to Bubba, since it was only 10:30 in the morning.
It helps to know, that in Bubba’s society, ladies applied make-up and donned jewelry, only, if a special event, (like going to the ‘short-snort Beer Parlor’), was eminent, or if they were trolling for a boy-friend, during a “Tractor Pull.”
Bubba wiped the snuff off his chin; grinned real big and said, “Morning, Ma-am: I’ve got some nice, fresh nuts for sale for a dollar a pound. Y’all want some?”
“Are you positive they are fresh?” Mrs. Paloy asked, with her mouth squinched up like she had been eating spoiled pickles.
“Oh, yes, Ma-am,” Bubba replied. “Me and Bobby Jule just picked ‘em up this morning.”
“What kind of nuts are they?” asked Mrs. Paloy.
“They’re PEE-CANS, ” Bubba said. “Paper Shell,” he added.
Mrs. Paloy waved her diamond encrusted hand at Bubba as a gesture of dismissal and said, “Oh my goodness-gracious NO; my good man. We don’t eat those kinds of nuts. You see; our digestive systems are more delicate than most. We must eat PEKAHNS!”
“I’ve got them kind too, Ma-am; but they’ll cost you $4.65 a pound. Turning to his partner, he said: “Bobby Jule: get one of them A & P sacks from under the seat and weigh Mrs. Paloy out a pound of them ‘PEKAHNS.”
Mrs. Paloy smiled, (like a Cow eating briars), and said; “I’m so happy to find a supplier for those delectable fruits. Bobby Jule; why don’t you weigh about five pounds of those tasty nuts, while I get my purse?”
By the way: Bubba retired a Rich Man, after only three seasons of distributing those delicious “Pekahns.” Dj.