A 60 year old couple was celebrating their anniversary by shopping in an antique store. There they discovered an an elaborately decorated bottle that appeared to be, at least 100 years old.
After heated discussions as to whether the need for the item was as great as their impulse, they could not resist purchasing it. Although they both were aware that the price was exorbitant; they, however, agreed to spend a part of their meager savings for it.
They had visions of this particular object being the wundfall that would eventually relieve their financially challenged lifestyle somewhat.
Arriving at their modest home, the wife decided to clean the bottle before displaying it on their mantel. When she removed the cork stopper, a puff of smoke arose from the neck and a Genie appeared and spoke to both of them.
“For your fortitude in remaining together for more that 40 years, I am empowered to grant each of you one wish.” Turning to the wife, he asked what her hearts desire was. “I would like to take a cruise,” she replied. The Genie clapped his hands and handed her a ticket for a World Cruise.
He then asked the same of her partner who quickly replied, “I would like a wife who is 30 years younger than me.” Again, the Genie clapped his hands and this wish came true.
ADDENDUM:
The wife thoroughly enjoyed touring all over the World while her NINETY year old partner rested in the Shady Rest Nursing Home for IMPOVERISHED EX-HUSBANDS!
The moral of this Revelation is to invoke validity in the axiom; “Be careful what you wish for.”
Demijon
An old Demijon saying: “It is sometimes wiser to trust a Politician than a Genie.” Dj.
March 8th, 2010
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I am certainly not an expert on the benefits of the proposed Health Care bill, but I do agree that something must be done to control the rising costs from the medical profession as well as other professions.
Last week, my wife visited a doctor and was given a hand-out, a pre-printed form, to solicit support from Congressional members; requesting them to endorse bill that would allow the profession free rein to, more or less, be excluded from reducing their charges.
It would seem that they are afraid that a controlled Health Care plan would limit their fees for fifteen minutes of their time to (say) $40.00 – $50.00 instead of a current $90.00 and upwards.
I understand that ethics demand that a doctor cannot refuse to treat a patient even if said patient is without some form of insurance, or is financially challenged. My thinking is that ‘half a loaf of bread is better than none.’
I cannot fathom that a patient should be asked to intercede in a doctors behalf to guarantee them the right to charge whatever they please. Think about it: Without some form of insurance; the patient who is asked to intercede, could be the very one to whom the Doctor would expect payment from, hence, (the old ‘blood from the turnip theory’).
Ridiculous run-away charges must be stopped somewhere down the line. I certainly do not contend that those in the medical profession are the worst offenders. The sad part is that the ones who have the least are sometimes asked to pay the most.
Recently, I had need of the services of a plumber for a failing water heater. After some ten minutes of checking the appliance, he said that nothing was wrong with it and his fee was $129.95. But, he also suggested replacement of the unit and gave me a written estimate of $1,320.95 to install a new one.
Of course, I declined his generous (?) offer and began searching the local Home Improvement Stores for the cost of a new heater. Imagine my surprise when I found that a new heater retails for $168.00. Now I ask you; is $1,152.95 a reasonable amount for the labor of installing the appliance?
Apparently, the young plumber rationalized that this old, gray-headed, senior citizen would jump at the chance, and allow his company to install a new heater.
Why his estimate was unreasonably high is anyone’s guess. Perhaps he thought that the additional revenue his company would receive would entice his superiors to increase his salary or, at least, to offer him a bonus.
Incidentally, another source revealed that the failure was the result of a bad thermostat that cost less than $30.00 and the labor charge was only slightly more.
I am sure that the plumber was aware that no insurance company would pay over $1,100.00 for the labor of installing a new heater, therefore, they would be dead-set against a Government-controlled plan that would limit their charges to a more reasonable amount.
What I’m suggesting is that someone has to take the bull by the horns and put some amount of control on these spiraling prices that are currently interpreted as, “whatever the traffic will bare.”
Demijon
P.S. A search of the internet reports that a Doctor’s average annual income is in the neighborhood of $150,000.00 while many of their patients survive on a minimum Social Security check with Medicare /Medicaid as their only insurance. Should they be required to pay a cost of double or triple the amount that Medicare approves?
In my humble opinion, the answer is; NO, this simply does not compute. Dj.
March 6th, 2010
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I have several friends, (I sincerely hope I can still call them friends after expressing my views), who simply cannot accept the fact that the political persuasion of the majority of Americans is not necessarily the same as theirs.
These folks are the ones who constantly bombard cyberspace with e-mail in attempts to prove that the Candidate that the American Voter’s choose will surely bring rack and ruin to our country.
If an elected candidate is not their particular choice, they cannot bring themselves to accept that he is “The Man” for the length of his term; or to even be civil in their efforts to change the minds of all the recipients in their address book.
It does not matter to them that our system of Government is based on checks and balances, (i.e. two or more parties). They are convinced that only members of one political party, (theirs), should be allowed to become our leaders.
Apparently they have forgotten that this was tried in Germany and this form of Government spawned World War II. Have my friends ever considered what would happen if the party of their choice decided to change horses in the middle of the stream, after they were elected; and thus, no longer supported their personal agendas?
In this event, they would have no choice but to live under, more or less, a dictatorship or else to change their affiliation. Granted, they have every right to disagree; but do they have the right to insist that all other Americans accept their views without question? I think not.
After all, isn’t this what was planned for Nazi Germany by Adolf Hitler?
I don’t know about you; but I have grown exceedingly tired of receiving the prejudiced e-mails from these self-appointed political analysts; therefore, I respectfully request that they decline from attempting to force their beliefs on me. All they have to do is to highlight my e-mail address from their address book and press the delete button.
It’s just that simple. Thank you.
Demijon
They may not realize it; but we’re all in this together. Dj.
March 4th, 2010
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You know, most folks enjoy the little ‘neck-in-the-woods’ that they call home to the point of keeping it reasonably neat.
Granted, this is not always possible due to sickness or infirmity; but most will find a way to conform to an aesthetic neighborhood. Regrettably, this is not the case with all homeowners.
At least, almost weekly, each home in our particular neighborhood is deluged with advertising pamphlets, weekly newspapers, and even the latest edition of telephone directories, either attached to our mailbox posts or simply thrown into the driveway or yards.
We do not have house delivery for our mail, and are required to make the daily trek to our street-side mailbox to receive the important catalogs and all the the past-due notices from the utility companies. What better time for gathering the trash in our yards and disposing of it into our trash containers or either into the recycle bins.
A couple of months ago, every home in our neighborhood received a plastic bag containing three (3), newly printed, directories from our friendly telephone company. These bags were simply thrown into the driveways at every home. Within two or three days, every one of the bags had been either carried into the homes or dispatched to the trash containers with the exception of one home.
The second or third week since the directories were delivered, the bags and newspapers remained in the driveway at this one home. There was no telling how many times these items had been run over with the automobile entering and exiting that driveway.
The months of October and November are the usual times when most homeowners manicure their lawns and puts them to bed for the winter.
When finished with this chore, their lawn equipment is generally stored somewhere in back of the homes. Not so, at this particular home. For several weeks, either a push mower or a riding mower,along with a gas can, was parked directly in front of the house, some 20-30 feet from the street.
To add insult to injury, a colorful quilt or blanket was thrown over the machines. When a stiff wind happened to blow this cover off, it remained on the ground adjacent to the mower for the same length of time.
I usually take my dog, (Th’ Bear), for his walk every morning. On one occasion when I performed this task, I noticed that the directories had at last been removed from the driveway at this home. Instead, there was a bag of trash that someone had scattered in the street in front of the same home that remained there for another several days. AND: The mower(s) were still parked in the same place.
Demijon
Apparently pride in home ownership was not in these folk’s vocabulary. Dj.
March 3rd, 2010
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In my younger days, when a baby was crying or fussing repeatedly, no one wished to admit their little tax exemption was spoiled rotten. It was commonly stated that he / she was either sleepy, cutting teeth, or had their days and nights mixed up.
Since I am on the far side of Medicare, I cannot claim that cutting teeth is responsible for my unruly demeanor. However, it is a well known fact that I do not have to be rocked, or sung to, in order to fall into a deep slumber. In fact, all that is required is a soft recliner, a good book, and possibly a sermon, to put me out like a light.
Gone are the days when I could sit and stare at a Television set until the station signed off for the night and still have to read before sleep would end my day. Waking was another story. An alarm loud enough to wake the dead would rouse me enough to stagger into the bathroom to begin my workday.
Then came the retirement years that I had been waiting for and this changed my lifestyle dramatically. I had worked an early schedule, (05:30 a.m. ’til 2:30 p,m.) for years, therefore I had been unable to sleep-in. During this period, the vast majority of my wife’s and my conversations were held via post-it notes attached to the Refrigerator or the coffee maker.
Several of my friends and co-workers retired from the workforce before I was eligible and I inquired of them as to how long it would be before sleeping-in would come naturally. “A Week;” “Ten days:” “A Month;” was the usual answer.
I believed them, but my frail body and weak mind had other designs on my retirement lifestyle. The evening meal along with the sign-off of the early news, was all that was necessary for me to be unable to keep my eyes open.
Alas: The worse part is yet to come. Awakening in a dark bedroom and glancing at the red numbers on the digital clock that announces the time as 02:30 in the morning startled me at first. Then it became a routine to arise, and to read the Obituary Column in the morning paper. If I do not find my name listed there, I proceed to put the coffee on.
I have repeatedly attempted to get back under the covers for a short nap only to literally “wear the bed out.” by rolling and tumbling.
Since I cannot blame cutting teeth as the reason for my constant, unruly, deportment, I suppose that I can pick one of the other excuses as the cause. Okay: Here goes.
It is a known fact that for a total of nineteen years; Old Demijon has been either sleepy, or has “gotten his days and nights mixed up!”
T.B. or not T.B. That is Congestion. Consumption be done about it?
Dj.
March 2nd, 2010
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One of the first things we were told upon entry into the folds of military service was that we were not to make any decisions. Our every move belonged to them; especially during basic training. We were told when to go to bed; when to get up; when to eat; what to wear; etc.
There was a long list of things that we were expected to memorize; among them, our own personal serial number and our weapon number; To emphasize the importance of keeping our individual weapon in top-notch shape, it was constantly drilled into our heads that if we inadvertently dropped it; we would be required to sleep with it in the tiny G.I. cot for several nights.
Part of our training included instruction as to the proper behavior while on Guard Duty. Every guard was required to memorize the list of General Orders, and recite them, word for word, at any time a superior officer approached and asked for any or all of them.
After better than sixty years since I was asked to recite one of the orders, the only one that comes to mind is the first. “To walk my post in a military manner; keeping always on the alert for anything within sight or hearing.” To assure that we remembered, an officer or non-commissioned officer would occasionally ask; “Soldier, what are your first and forth General Orders?”
Another item that was stressed throughout the entire eight weeks of basic training was that: In the unlikely event that we would be captured by an enemy, it was extremely important to reveal NOTHING but our Name, Rank, and Serial Number. This was even mandated by The Geneva Convention. The mandate was supposedly a memorandum directed to include both Friend and Foe.
Most of the instructions heaped upon me, by the military, has been forgotten over the many years since I was a raw recruit; but the latter mandate is still clear in my mind, even down to the serial number. There have been incidents when parts of my training have helped stabilize my commitment to my child-bride of fifty-seven years.
One event that I’ve never forgotten came in the early years of our marriage. Like most young couples, we were faced with ‘too much month at the end of the money.’ On one particular payday (a Friday), I did not get to the bank before it closed to deposit my pay check. I asked the cashier at the office to cash my check.
That evening, we were invited to a cook-out at our friends’ home. While we were eating, my friend and I began to compare notes as to whom was the more wealthy. My friend began citing all the property he had acquired that he claimed was, worth a fortune.
Not to be outdone, and since my wallet was stuffed with small bills from my tiny paycheck, I displayed it to the awe and admiration of my audience. That is; with the exception of my wife who became quite pale and asked, “Did you go to the bank?” She then added, “I wrote checks for all of the utilities yesterday/”
Tearfully, she asked in a quivering voice; “What can you say in your defense; and it better be GOOD!”
Calling on all my military training, I stood at attention, saluted, and replied—.
“DEMIJON: SERGEANT: RA-14-360-609 !”
Enough said. Compassionate soul that she is; she spoke to me, without ‘Malice Aforethought,’ several days after paying the overdraft fee. Dj.
March 1st, 2010
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A friend of mine had finally been hired for a position with the United States Postal Service that was then operated under the patronage of Civil Service. He concluded that, if he worked hard and demonstrated a willingness to learn everything he could, his future would be secured.
Like all new-hires, he was assigned to the night tour of duty. He reported to the Supervisor and was told to empty all of the canvas bags that contained assorted parcels onto a conveyor belt where other workers were sorting them to the correct bins for distribution.
Working up a sweat, he made quick work of emptying all the bags. Intent on making a good impression on the Supervisor, he asked what he could do next to help move the mail. He was told to unload a truck that was backed up to the platform, full of other bags containing more parcels.
When the truck was empty, another Supervisor told him to roll the float full of bags inside and dump the parcels onto the conveyor belt. These orders were repeated throughout his tour of duty, and as soon as he completed one task, another would be waiting. When all the parcels had been dumped and sorted, he was told to clock out.
Each night during his first three months, his duties were the same-old, same-old. He rationalized that the job that he had been assigned was critical to the smooth operation, and that he had been hand-picked because of his obvious intelligence and devotion to his job.
He gradually became more adept at assuring the parcels were unloaded and dumped as per his instructions, and that he hardly had to ask any questions as to what to do next.
His ability to do the assigned work with minimal supervision led him to believe that he was an essential part of the entire Postal operation. Thus, it was during his six month evaluation period that he approached his immediate Supervisor with the question:
“Tomorrow is my Wife’s and My anniversary. Do you think you can get along without me if I carry her to dinner and a movie tomorrow night?”
The Supervisor’s reply was immediate, “I KNOW DAMNED WELL WE CAN.”
My friend’s ego actually made a noise as it deflated.
Demijon
Down is the only route when the wind is taken from our sails. Dj.
February 28th, 2010
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In the 1950’s, there was very little entertainment in the home of newly married couples and especially the ones with small children. It was not feasible for them to hire a babysitter for a night out since the family income was limited to one paycheck. It was more or less accepted that the mother would keep the home-fires burning and to care for the children while the husband earned their daily bread.
Television was in its infancy and was cost prohibitive for most young couples. There was, however, a source of entertainment available to them that would not break the bank. This was the local Drive-In Theater.
Most of these theaters would set aside one night as family night with an admission of $1.00 per car load. It was not unusual for two families to pool their resources, pack a picnic supper, and load the children into an available Station Wagon for a double-feature at the Starlite Drive In.
Most drive-ins included a play area, with swings, rocking horses, etc, just in front of the huge screen and well away from the roads that led to the elevated ramps. The families usually arrived early and while the mother fixed the sandwiches and drinks, the fathers supervised the children in the play area.
The theater provided music for the early-birds and announced over the speakers placed on posts beside the cars, just how much time was left before the movies would begin. This gave everyone time to play, eat their supper and prepare the beds in back for the youngest children without missing any of the action.
As a general rule, the program began with a Pathe Newsreel, followed by brief bits of coming attractions, a cartoon and, of course, chapter 6 of “Jungle Jim and the Headhunters.”
The tired children were asleep by the time the feature movie began. This was usually a drama followed by either a Western or another Action picture. Is there anywhere today that two families can enjoy more that two hours of entertainment for a total of $1.00?
Alas, Television and the invention and popularity of computers put an end to the Drive-In Theaters. If anyone today is interested in viewing the latest product from Hollywood, they are required to; – hire a babysitter @ 5.00 + per hour; drive to one of the Malls with Multi-Theaters; stand in line 30/40 minutes, pay as much as $40.00 – $50.00 admission; and are still not able to take advantage of the play area swings.
You decide: Have we really “come a long way, baby?”
Demijon
Some of us can revive the good old days, in our minds, at least. Dj.
February 28th, 2010
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It is customary for friends and sometimes relatives to relate incidents about the lives of dearly departed loved ones.
“Just to pay our respects,” they rationalize. In certain cases this can become burdensome when the departed one has led a life that was far from ideal.
Knowing that the funeral service is directed toward the living; most people will not risk recounting inappropriate behavior and will only depict the person as a staunch, upstanding citizen. The fact that his / her, less than perfect, conduct was well known does nothing to deter their glowing tributes.
In services when no eulogy is performed, it becomes the task of the clergy to speak favorably of the deceased primarily for the benefit of the survivors. This difficult task is intensified when the person is unknown to them. In situations of this type, most ministers will limit their commendations to the promises of a better life as foretold in The Bible.
The eulogy is an important part of many services and some incorporate more than one presentation of the flawless aspects of the person’s life. In my humble opinion, this does more harm than good. To place the person on a pedestal after death instead of reaching out to them while they were living is erroneous; but most of us feel a responsibility to speak well of the dead.
Personally, I would like to think that at sometime during my life, I have influenced someone enough that they would endeavor to eulogize me. Since my faults outweigh my attributes this would essentially be brief. Not the long, drawn out affair afforded to persons of significantly better deportment; but rather an acknowledgment of the fact that there was, at least, one person who could truthfully say…
“I have considered it an honor and a privilege to have been able to call this person a friend.”
Enough said! Subsequent praise would appear unfounded and inappropriate to those who knew of my imperfect lifestyle.
Demijon
After age 70, the things you purchase are not likely to wear out. Dj.
February 27th, 2010
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I happened across a photo of an antique John Deere tractor yesterday, pictured at left. This machine was well before my time although I could not find the date of the antique.
The photo as compared with my current John Deere mower, shown below, indicates that it is probably one of the first tractors manufactured by the famous J.D. firm since the wheels were steel with cleats instead of the modern day rubber tires.
There were no specifications accompanying the photo, as to the power of the machine available, nor were there any explanation as to why the cleats on the wheels were essential. I take it for granted that the above machine was designed for work in the fields, and /or new grounds, rather than to mow domestic lawns.
I do know that very few rural folks maintained a smooth and well cared for yard in the olden days when this antique was in its hey-day; and, even then, homeowners would object to the steel cleats digging into the surface of their yards. Instead, they kept a weed free, swept, landscape.
The few city dwellers that insisted on grass in their yards, relied on a push- mowers for keeping the grass trimmed. I experienced the drudgery of using a push, reel-type, mower as a teenager and even when my child-bride and I were trying to keep up with the Jones’ by sowing grass in the yard of our first home.
In later years, and with the both of us working, we were able to afford a power, rotary, push mower; but it was close to our retirement years before we were able to sit on a comfortable seat, turn a key, and let a machine do all the work.
The ease of lawn mowing was not necessarily to our advantage since we were then required to resort to diets and additional exercise in attempts to control our ever expanding waistlines. However, we did enjoy a more laid-back lifestyle, even though it was detrimental to our health.
Now, in the twilight of our advanced years, we can accept or reject the fact that we are keeping twenty-eight Doctors employed full time.
It’s true that we’ve come “A long way, Baby.”
And the medical profession appreciates it.
Demijon
February 26th, 2010
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