Hit were early Spring; one day; when Susie Mae were hoeing-out the yard. She commenced complaining bout her hands hurting when she hoed the garden too. I told her that she ort to go see the doctor bout them cause; we couldn’t afford fer her to be out of commission. ‘Her bein’ one of the best hoers in the county; an’ all.’
She finally ‘cided to go, and when she come back she said the doctor told her she had Corporal Turnal or sumpin’. I told her that it looked like to me that she could of at least had got Sergeant or Lieutenant; or maybe even Captain, cause that would be more in keeping with folks of our stature.
He told Susie Mae that she ort to go to the hospital and have her hands operated on. She just bout got on her high horse when he said that, cause she always has been kind of squimish bout bein’ sliced on. I told her she mought as well go on with hit since I wanted her to be in good shape come cotton choppin’ time, so she finally made up her head to do hit.
Well’sr, we got everything fixed fer her to go, and we driv up to the hospital in the truck. No sooner than we got there this dude come running outten a little house side of the front door and says to me, “Y’all can’t park that thing there.” Susie Mae flew mad and says to him, “I reckon we’ll pay enough fore we’s through here to park anywheres we want to, so there, Mr. Smarty Pants.”
Well, I finally moved the truck off to a field that they had covered up with cement, and me and Susie Mae went in. They was a gal settin behint a table with a stack of papers in front of her, and Susie Mae said to her, “I’s come to git my hands fixed.” That gal looked sort of funny and said, “Who sent you?” Susie Mae kind of frowned and said, “Ain’t nobody sent me, Jay Henry driv me in the truck.” I knew right off; that them two was not gonna hit it off, so I told that gal that the doctor was spectin’ we’uns and she taken us off to a little room where you sign up fer the hospital. The woman what was signing us up ast Susie Mae who was gonna pay fer all this, and I stepped in and told her that my Onsurance had better pay fer hit or I’d quit payin my dollar ever week.
Aigh-doggies, we got through signin up and they took Susie Mae back to a room and told her to take off her frock. You ort to of seen Susie Mae’s face when they said that. She said, “Why’s I got to take my frock off when all I want is my hands fixed.” They made her do hit, anyhow, and she come out of that room with a real short gown on. She were havin one more time tryin to hold that thing together in the back. Then they made her lay down on a table what had wheels on hit and they pushed her off to the ‘Hand Fixin’ room, wherever that was. They told me to wait, and I set down and started lookin at a old Sears’ catalog. I had just got through the page about the women’s teddys when the doctor come in.
He called me over in the corner and told me that he had done only one hand this time cause he didn’t want to fix her so’e she couldn’t do nothing. I told him thankee for that, cause she had a lot of stove wood to tote in and the washin’ to do. He said to not let her lift too much, and I told him that I had a light axe that I’d let her use so’s not to hurt herself. When they rolled her back in that waiting room, she was pure tee taking on bout how bad her hand hurt, and I told one of them nurses to bring her a asprin. She said, “Oh, no, she had sompin back there.” Well, I kinda figured that with Susie Mae bein hefty and all, another one wont gonna hurt none, but I cided to wait til we got home and give her one.
When we got back to the house, Susie Mae flew into one handed cooking, and I knew that all she was doin was messing up all the dishes she could just so’s I’d have to wash them. I never seen so much strawing and begomming in my lifetime, and I finally had to make her go to the front room and set down. Atter I got things kinda straitened up, I went in there and purely laid down the law to her. I told her that when the doctor done her other hand, I was gonna go off somewheres and wont gonna come back til she had done got well.
Well’sr; that scared her so bad that she ain’t never uttered a sound ‘bout her other hand a’hurtin.’ “I wish they wus some way I cud uv’ taken out a ‘PATENT’ on that-thare statement. If I cud have bottled them-thare quiet spells; they wud have been ‘sponsible fer me to be jus’ rollin’ in money” frum rat now on.